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Episode 21 – Bone Tomahawk / Long Live The King cigar / Ghost Rider White IPA beer

Another episode, another world class mustache! Good God I wish we were all more man than mouse and could grow a stache-tastic womb broom like Kurt Russell or the...

Another episode, another world class mustache! Good God I wish we were all more man than mouse and could grow a stache-tastic womb broom like Kurt Russell or the immortal Tom Atkins. But, alas, we are not men. We are The Tuesday Night Cigar Club. And that’s something we have to live with every day when we look in the mirror and see a bare upper lip instead of a testosterone-fueled soup strainer staring back at us. But, alas again, if two of us want to keep our current wives and the other two schmucks want to hopefully find their future spouses some day… this is how it must be. It’s a cruel harsh world, folks.

THE CIGAR – LONG LIVE THE KING by CALDWELL CIGAR COMPANY

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How we came to review the Long Live The King “My Style Is Jalapeno” lancero (7.25×40) is a strange story and one I tell with a great amount of detail on the podcast. I recommend you listen to it because I simply don’t have the energy to go into it all over again here. Essentially, one highly respected figure in the cigar world mentioned on his personal Facebook page that he had heard rave reviews about the LLTK lancero and when he smoked it he was highly disappointed (he actually said “this cigar sucks for me!“). All three cigars he smoked burned awful for him, they lacked complexity, etc… Well some folks took issue with his unfiltered honesty, considering how highly regarded he is in the industry, and several others came to Caldwell’s defense shouting out their collective love for the LLTK lancero and many other cigar lines from this upstart boutique label. One of those standing up for the cigar, understandably, was Caldwell’s national sales manager Jeremy McDonald. I thought he handled himself nicely while sticking up for his brand but also keeping things civil which can be a tricky dance on social media. So naturally I contacted Jeremy and he was kind enough to send us a fiver of Long Live The King lanceros to get our expert* opinions on this now controversial cigar.

*We are in no way, shape, or form experts at ANYTHING. Please listen to podcast for proof of that. thanks, MC
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It’s a very good looking cigar. The Dominican corojo wrapper had a glistening sheen to it that was slightly oily to the touch. I’m a fan of the lancero vitola in general, as I enjoy taking notice of the subtle flavor differences when comparing the smaller ring gauge blend against my usual larger Churchills. However, this was the group’s first experience with the LLTK in any size so there was no comparison point this time around. We all picked up a faint but pleasant raisin note on the predraw and the cigar lit easily.

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Unfortunately, the raisin note disappeared as soon as the cigar began to burn. It was replaced with a generic tobacco flavor that while not unpleasant in the slightest was also not interesting in the slightest. Throughout the duration of the cigar this tobacco flavor held steady and it remained almost unchanged with no complexity present. I kept waiting and waiting for something new to walk in the door of the party and it wasn’t until the last inch that a nice blast of spice hit our palates. For a stogie subtitled “My Style Is Jalapeno” you’d think the spice would have arrived much earlier on. It should be noted that I did smoke one more LLTK lancero a week later and the strong spice notes occurred at the very beginning of that particular cigar as opposed to the very end but it was still sadly short lived.

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So, did it suck? No, it didn’t suck to us. Does that mean we loved it? No. Would we buy it again? Not at this price point ($9-$10). While we did not experience any of the construction issues mentioned in the social media criticism it received, there were several relights throughout the smoke but I’m going to chalk that up to us just running our mouths too damn much. The lack of distinguishable flavors or even one unique interesting dominant flavor was the downfall of this cigar for me. It just failed to make a memorable impression. So I suggest you do what I did and find a way to get your hands on a few of these and join the conversation! Find us on Facebook and let us know what you think.

THE BEER – GHOST RIDER WHITE IPA by WASATCH BREWERY

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Now this beer, on the other hand, had flavor and complexity out the ying yang baby! The Ghost Rider features a dominant citrus presence that we all quickly pinpointed as grapefruit. While the bitterness was lower than I traditionally like in an IPA (IBU is 50), this cloudy unfiltered beauty more than made up for its lack of kick-you-in-your-fucking-teeth hops with the sourness of the grapefruit. While none of us are particular fans of grapefruit in general, this unique flavor brewed with a dash of coriander really found a nice groove as the night progressed and with each subsequent pint this beer never got boring. Tut especially appreciated the complexity of how the creamy head balanced so well with the sour body. And, yes, we made several jokes about Tut’s infatuation with creamy head. Don’t judge us, you would’ve done the exact same thing and you know it.

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THE FILM – BONE TOMAHAWK (2015)

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I can’t begin to do our analysis of this cinematic masterpiece justice here so (as always) kick your boots up, make a drink, and listen to the damn podcast. It’s a long one but it’s a good one*.

*That’s not what she said.
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What I will say is that we haven’t seen a genre bending western quite like this before and “Bone Tomahawk” features one of the best performances by an ensemble of actors that I’ve witnessed in a very long time. Every performer here is on top of their game because they have no choice but to try to keep up with the talent surrounding them. Richard Jenkins puts on a master class in this film, not only is his character “Chicory” an instant western classic but it’s one of the best characters I’ve seen created in any film ever. EVER.

“Bone Tomahawk” shows us what men were made of in the old west. And, unfortunately, it makes us take a look at what men are mostly made of today. These men saddled up and rode straight into the face of danger. They spit in Death’s face. Today’s man wears flip flops to a fancy restaurant and tweets about video games while sitting on the crapper. Well… I wear flip flops but I don’t tweet and I don’t play fucking video games. So basically I’m an old school badass who’s cut from the same cloth of his ballsy founding fathers. Right? Right.

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THE NUB

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I know this is a long episode. That’s what happens when you’re highly invested in the subject matter and you are determined to leave no stone unturned during the course of the conversation. It’s also what happens when you start to feel the effects of the Ghost Rider White IPA around the three hour mark. Our passion and our steadfast opinions bubble to the surface like the creamy head that Tut is so fond of! I make no apologies for the running time, of course, but I wanted to give you a heads up to what you’re in store for. A creamy heads up if you will. Give us a listen and let us know what you think.

Thank you for checking out The Tuesday Night Cigar Club. We’ll see you next time when we review another cigar, adult beverage, and film. May the wings of liberty never lose a feather.

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Brother of the Leaf, Filmmaker, Prophet, former Mr. South Dakota 1996. I was a bouncer on the child beauty pageant circuit until one too many juice boxes went missing and somebody had to take the fall. I was set up. Ok, I was thirsty. All that hairspray in the air dries out your throat like a motherfu... I apologize to no man. Now I host the Tuesday Night Cigar Club podcast.

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