Tune in tonight and join us as I teach the boys how babies are made!
Well folks, I can honestly say that five years in to doing this… we’ve truly NEVER done a show like this one. Of course I want you to click the links below to watch or listen to tonight’s episode so all I will say here is that you will laugh, you’ll learn, and you’ll feel emotions that you perhaps haven’t felt in quite some time if perhaps ever before. This episode might just change your life. So get to clickin’ and join the party!!!
THE CIGAR – COHIBA ROYALE by GENERAL CIGAR COMPANY
Size: 6 x 50 (toro)
Wrapper: Nicaraguan broadleaf (Jalapa valley)
Binder: Dominican (piloto cubano)
Filler: Honduran (Jamastran region) & Nicaraguan (Jalapa and Estelí regions)
Price: $28.99 (while these were generously provided to us by General Cigar Company for review, you can find them on sale right now at Famous Smoke Shop and by using promo code “TNCC20” at checkout you can knock that price down to $22.20 a stick!
The Cohiba Royale features an oily-as-shit wrapper that’s slick to the touch. Dark as night, greasy as hell, this Nicaraguan broadleaf wrapper is truly beautiful if you can appreciate quality tobacco like we do here in The Corner Of No Hope. Before setting fire to the foot of the cigar, the cold draw revealed sweet juicy raisins.
There’s strong spice on the nose immediately, think cayenne pepper or jalapeño as a reference. And the draw provides that sweetness hinted at on the cold draw accompanied by some woodsiness. And the Cohiba Royale has a bold nicotine kick for sure.
As the smoking experience continues, an earthiness joins that sweetness (always a winning combination) but the woodsy notes continue to rule the roost. And that sharp biting crushed red pepper, cayenne spice on the nose never relents. Despite our strong ABV beers battling with the Cohiba Royale royally throughout the night, it’s a slow burning cigar that hung in there with it’s solid flavor profile and superb construction. But that price point, unless this cigar comes with a giant set of knockers…. ouch.
FINAL TNCC GRADE: 87
THE BEERS
Once again folks, usually (before this mini apocalypse was thrust upon all of us) we would carefully – some of you have said “expertly” – pair our evening’s beer with the cigar and movie and we’d all drink that same beer and compare notes. But since this whole COVID-19 shitshow has happened, each member of the TNCC is now solely responsible for risking their lives out in the wild and acquiring their own beers for each episode.
It ain’t an ideal situation but, then again, what is these days… except Tut’s 4th Of July t-shirt. Seriously, look at that thing!
YAK BOY’S BEER – BLACK IPA by 512
This interesting “cascadian dark ale” retains the citrus/floral profile commonly associated with an IPA but its balanced by a roasted malt presence and our resident beer expert loved it. While listed as 70 IBUs, the heavy maltiness really dialed the bitterness down and the overall result really sung beautifully to Yak Boy. Seek this strange amalgamation out for yourself and let us know what you think!
TUT’S BEER – ENJOY BY 07.04.20 by STONE BREWING
An unfiltered double IPA brewed specifically to celebrate our great nation’s Independence Day, this beer has some bite to it. So much bite at 90 IBUs that Tut thought it interfered with his enjoyment of tonight’s cigar a bit. Oops!
CADE’S BEER – DREAM CRUSHER DOUBLE RYE IPA by DEEP ELLUM
110 IBUs? Get the fuck outta here. I’d place this IPA at 80 IBUs tops but it’s not like I’m an internationally recognized internet beer expert or anything… The Dream Crusher is heavy on the pine and heavy overall, it’s a strong beer that surprisingly has a bite to it separate from the hops (which might be the inclusion of the rye). The more I drank it, the more I liked it. Funny how that happens. And it pairs well with tonight’s film as my dreams were crushed of seeing any steamy sexcapades once I realized Amazon was streaming a version of the film that had 45 minutes cut out of it. DREAMS CRUSHED.
THE FILM – THE GIRL FROM B.I.K.I.N.I. (2007)
Tonight we are doing what’s never been done before, we are watching and discussing a softcore adult film with all the sex scenes removed from it for Amazon streaming purposes. Fuck you Jeff Bezos! Seriously, I’ve never been more pissed off watching a movie in my life… and I’ve watched a lot of movies! We each paid $5 on Amazon to watch a softcore Skinemax movie with all the steamy moments deleted (this was NOT made clear in the movie’s description). Again, FUCK YOU JEFF BEZOS! But as always, and possibly more so than ever, we make horny lemonade out of very unhorny lemons and the end result is a damn fun time.
I know what you astute cinephiles at home are thinking ~ why didn’t we discuss the film’s sequel Bikini Royale instead as it would have paired thematically with our cigar, the Cohiba Royale, so much better? Well, quite simply I was afraid that we’d be lost if we jumped right into the sequel as we would have missed all the in-depth character development that takes place in The Girl From B.I.K.I.N.I.. Duh. I’m sorry, who are the film/cigar/beer pairing experts here? That’s right, we are. So sit back and enjoy us doing that thing we do better than anyone else out there!
I couldn’t find a single pic of blonde starlet Beverly Lynne from tonight’s film, so here’s a shot of her in 2005’s “Bikini Chain Gang”
THE NUB
Please leave us comments on the YouTube episode page, provide us with a review on iTunes, or be a real stud and do both! All these seemingly small gestures would be greatly appreciated as they let us know exactly what you’re thinking about this sweat soaked tidal wave of hardbodied insanity we like to call The Tuesday Night Cigar Club.
Sayonara motherfuckers!!!
Below is tonight’s full episode for both your viewing and listening pleasure. Thank you for checking out The Tuesday Night Cigar Club and we’ll see you next time when we review another cigar, adult beverage, and film. May the wings of liberty never lose a feather…
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