Podcast up your ass!!! Welcome everybody to The Tuesday Night Cigar Club episode 161! Are y’all ready to party?
Do you loyal listeners remember, many years ago, when I was kicking around some alternate names for the show due to the sad fact that we can’t advertise or do much of any marketing promotion because of the word “cigar” being in our name? Well I was listening to a Metallica interview the other day and James was telling the story of how they wanted to name their debut album back in 1983 “Metal Up Your Ass” with album art featuring a hand emerging from a toilet bowl clutching a sharp dagger but Megaforce record executives were strongly against the idea so the band went with “Kill ‘Em All” and the rest is music history.
BUT I always liked that name, it’s in your face, it’s aggressive and unapologetic so I decided to workshop “Podcast Up Your Ass!” as a potential new show name tonight. And our logo could be a hand coming out of the toilet holding a microphone, or maybe a stogie… or a giant sex toy… again it’s an idea that’s still in its infancy stage but after checking out my pitch let us know if you believe it kicks as much ass as I do. PODCAST UP YOUR ASS!!!
THE CIGAR – DIESEL ATONEMENT TAA 2022 by FORGED CIGAR COMPANY
Size: 6 x 52 (toro)
Wrapper: Ecuadorian Sumatra
Binder: Connecticut broadleaf
Filler: Nicaragua
Price: $10 (and while these were submitted to us for review by General Cigar Company, you can go right now to FamousSmokeShop.com and grab a box of many other Diesel cigars and by using promo code TNCC20 to get $20 off your purchase of $100 or more!)
The cigar was made as an exclusive for the retail businesses who are members of the TAA (Tobacconists’ Association of America) and is limited to 1,000 boxes of 10 cigars. The Diesel Atonement TAA 2022 features some eye-catching black and copper artwork on the bands, which wrap around a dark, oily Sumatran box-pressed wrapper leaf. There’s a rich aroma of sweetness detected off the foot as well.
Upon ignition, there’s an immediate blast of white pepper through the nose that lingers in the top of your nostrils like a generous glop of wasabi. That familiar wasabi burn is a feature that I’ve come to love when it’s infrequently presented in certain cigar profiles. The draw’s primary flavors early on are that of oak and earth. Tut repeatedly referenced a “vegetable oil” sensation he was experiencing so… yeah… we didn’t know what to make of that either.
Smoke production is copious throughout and the overall construction of the slow-burning Diesel Atonement was very good. At the start of the second third of the smoking experience, a hint of Nica mineral begins to creep in behind the highly consistent pepper on the retrohale. Around that same time, a vanilla cake note also begins to develop underneath the oak and earth via the draw (Yak Boy picked up on a more generic sweetness but not vanilla specifically). In the final third, that vanilla also presents itself through the nose cementing the strong case that the retrohale is the star of the show as far as the Diesel Atonement TAA 2022 is concerned. If you ain’t blowing out some smoke upstairs, you’re really missing out on what this cigar has to offer. This is the most enjoyable Diesel cigar we’ve had to date and that’s saying something considering how many line extensions exist now under the Diesel brand. So go grab yourself a few from your favorite TAA brick-and-mortar shop and let us know what you think.
TNCC FINAL SCORE = 91
THE BOOZE
Once again folks, usually (before the mini apocalypse was thrust upon all of us in 2020) we would carefully – some of you have said “expertly” – pair our evening’s beer with the cigar and movie and we’d all sit around the table and drink that same beer and compare notes. But since this whole COVID-19 shitshow went down, each member of the TNCC is now solely responsible for risking their lives out in the wild and acquiring their own beers for each episode… usually with very interesting results.
CADE’S BEER – THE CULTIVATION OF ENERGY, THIOLIZED COLD INDIA PALE ALE by FALSE IDOL BREWING
That’s quite a word salad! This expensive, ridiculously long named 7% ABV beer features a heavily dank pine aroma off the pour and a strong malt presence on the swallow. Hop bitterness seems to be somewhere in the mid-50 IBU range (it’s not listed) and the taste is just okay. We are talking about the 2023 reimagining of Children of the Corn tonight which features a bunch of bastard little shits who, indeed, worship a false idol so this pairing is a clear homerun from yours truly. Yet again.
CADE’S PAIRING GRADE = A+++
TUT’S BEER – CRISPY BUSINESS LAGER by REAL ALE BREWING
Tut selected the Sound Check Crispy Boy pilsner beer way back on Episode 154 which earned him the nickname Crispy Boy and he’s keeping the crispy train rollin’ tonight with this additional crispy offering from Real Ale Brewing. What keeps drawing Tut to these crispy beers and does it have anything to do with vegetable oil… only his poor therapist and God can answer those questions that for sure. This hellish style German lager clocks in at 4.5% with 25 IBUs and while Crispy Boy didn’t find it particularly crispy he did deem it to be clean, refreshing, and delicious. CP selected this beer to pair with tonight’s film because the main antagonist does indeed get a bit crispy in the final scene… possibly because she was hanging out in a sun-drenched cornfield covered in vegetable oil. Again, so many unanswered questions but only one thing is for sure –
TUT’S PAIRING GRADE = D+
YAK BOY’S BEER – HAZY IPA by STONE BREWING
This “amazingly hazy IPA” (their words, not ours) is 6.7% and 40 IBUs of pure tastiness. Stone doesn’t make bad IPAs and this hazy is no exception. Citrus and floral components all gel together nicely and Yaks deemed it a winner on the cigar pairing side of things as well. It’s too bad that the only pairing angle this beer has to our movie is that the can features a giant demon head on it. Cmon Yaks, you can do better than this! Or maybe you can’t…
YAK BOY’S PAIRING GRADE = D-
THE DOCTOR’S BOOZE – BASIL HAYDEN SMALL BATCH KENTUCKY STRAIGHT BOURBON WHISKEY
The good Doctor wasn’t in the mood for beer and that’s A-OK, if it’ll get you drunk it’s welcome at the TNCC table. He chose to go with a nice bourbon instead and who could blame him? Bourbon is awesome! The Basil Hayden has a vanilla aspect to it that is also awesome and Doc gave this spirit a giant thumbs up. Technically to be classified as a bourbon, a spirit must be made from 51% CORN so – for the first time in a long time – The Doctor scores a rare film pairing win. Well done sir!
THE DOCTOR’S PAIRING GRADE = F++
THE FIRE PIT
We cover a wide array of topics during tonight’s Fire pit session including but not limited to:
Facebook birthday wishes!
Metallica’s early days
Travis Tritt vs. Bud Light
The Batman (feature film)
The Mandalorian (3rd season)
TNCC Crew’s “Top 5 Film Franchises Of All Time”
And a whole lot more!
THE FILM – CHILDREN OF THE CORN (2023)
This 10th (!) installment of the Children of the Corn franchise was written and directed by Kurt Wimmer, who previously wrote 1992’s Double Trouble starring the musclebound heroes from our last episode The Barbarian Twins as well as writing the screenplays for the remakes of both Total Recall (2012) and Point Break (2015) so he certainly isn’t new to tackling exiting properties. On top of that, he directed the 2002 scifi film Equilibrium starring Christian Bale and 2006’s futuristic flick Ultraviolet which had Milla Jovovich kicking ass in it. So this Wimmer guy has done some stuff for sure, in fact he wrote the script for the upcoming Expendables 4 which will hopefully take that franchise back in the right direction, i.e. the “Rated R for ridiculously extreme violence” direction. But that’s a conversation for a future TNCC episode, tonight we go back in to the corn!
Watching this film is a lot like a taking a ill-advised trip to the Golden Corral buffet. When you get back to your table and look down at your plate you see a pile of spaghetti, some General Tso’s chicken, a sirloin steak, a clump of macaroni & cheese, tater tots, a shrimp cocktail, and a chocolate sundae… you realize at that exact moment that you probably should have focused on a lot fewer things (and you probably should have just made a grilled cheese sandwich at home, unless explosive diarrhea is your thing ~ no judgment). This latest Children of the Corn movie has way too many themes and ingredients going on and it causes the entire story to become muddled and confusing very quickly.
Speaking of corn, there’s a lot of it in this movie and – for the most part – it’s well photographed and made to be as ominous as an ear of corn possibly can be. We had a bushel of fun when we discussed Children of the Corn 2: Final Sacrifice back on Episode 124 and tonight thankfully was no different. We so corny! But you sinful outlanders are going to have to click the links below to party with He Who Drinks Behind The Rows so DO IT! NOW!!!
THE NUB
Please leave us comments on the YouTube episode page and subscribe while you’re there, provide us with a review on iTunes, or be a real stud and do both! All these seemingly small gestures would be greatly appreciated as they let us know exactly what you’re thinking about this sweat-soaked tidal wave of hardbodied insanity we like to call The Tuesday Night Cigar Club.
Sayonara you corny motherfuckers!!!
Below is tonight’s full episode for both your viewing and listening pleasure. Thank you for checking out The Tuesday Night Cigar Club and we’ll see you next time when we review another cigar, adult beverage, and film. May the wings of liberty never lose a feather…
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