I’ve always been a Neanderthal guy. No, that doesn’t mean I watch Nascar every weekend while simultaneously beating my wife and traumatizing my kids with scary stories about the woke Deep State during the commercial breaks. And if you think that type of Neanderthal sounds a lot like you, stop doing that stuff! Despite what the internet may tell you daily, nobody likes that guy. Rather, it means that the Neanderthal line has always been my crystal clear favorite from RoMa Craft Tobac. The company’s Intemperance EC XVIII and Wunder|Lust lines are also smoked frequently here in The Corner Of No Hope (boy, has this place ever lived up to its name the last few weeks) but nothing has ever come close to my enjoyment of a Neanderthal. Why do I mention this? Firstly, because I couldn’t think of anything else to start off with when I sat down to begin typing. And the second reason is that if the following review isn’t favorable or the Maestranza just doesn’t sound like a cigar that’s in your wheelhouse – go try a Neanderthal instead. They’re great!
Hopefully this latest offering from RoMa Craft lives up to the hype. My fellow Tuesday Nighter™ Tut has been smoking the shit out of this cigar, albeit in the short gordo size, for months now and he absolutely loves it. Will my far more highly-tuned, internationally recognized, expert palate agree? There’s only one way to find out…
THE CIGAR – MAESTRANZA CABALLERÍA VALENCIA by ROMA CRAFT TOBAC
Size: 6×50 (toro)
Wrapper: Mexican San Andrés
Binder: Brazilian
Filler: Nicaraguan, Dominican Republic, and Honduras
Price: $10.00 (you can purchase several sizes of the Maestranza from Smokers Abbey Austin right HERE)
The Maestranza Caballería Valencia showcases a pleasant floral aroma along with some cedar and there’s a sweetness detected when sniffing the foot directly. The dry, medium-brown wrapper features some slight lumps but no concerning soft spots are detected along the body. That sounds like an observation from the doctor during my most recent physical exam. I like the band’s color scheme of Big Bird yellow against bright white, it definitely pops visually.
After a quick punch to the cap, mustiness and earth present themselves through the wide open cold draw. Do we have any fans of the punch method here? Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one punching cigars… and what the hell is up with those psychos who use a V-cut? I mean, I’m not one to judge anybody, but c’mon…
A piercing pepper slices its way through the retrohale and, much like the perfect wasabi burn, it lingers in my nostrils for a spell. Once I’m settled in with the spice, I’m able to appreciate a graphite note that’s beginning to develop behind it. A pleasant combination of cedar and leather is flooding through via the draw and that’s not hyperbole as the Maestranza is producing a shit ton of beautiful dark grey smoke.
At this point early on, I’d peg the strength as medium-full and the body is straight-up full. A flavor reminiscent of sharp black coffee is now building underneath the leather and slowly diminishing cedar. The pepper/graphite combo upstairs continues to light things up. I have wanted to use the word “bright” a few times so far to describe the Maestranza’s overall profile but I have held back because I don’t know what good, if any, using that abstract of a descriptor would do for you. But by typing that last sentence I suppose I did bring the word bright to the party, so I might as well take a swig from my trusty flask and dance with it. Speaking of much needed booze, I’m a professional cigar reviewer so I naturally abstain from drinking while on the job but… I would love to pair this bright cigar with a glass of bright scotch. Me thinks The Balvenie 14 Year Caribbean Cask would go so damn good with this Maestranza and the bottle price was actually reasonable once upon a time ago.
Construction has been fantastic with a consistently straight burn and the box-pressed Maestranza is drawing like a dream. The power of the retro’s pepper spice has dialed down a bit but it’s still a major player. Somehow, against all odds, a surprising creaminess arises through the well established core flavors and it reminds me of the original Coffee Mate (for this reviewer, that’s not a negative thing at all). The ash is beginning to grow a bit flakey here in the second act, so you’d best keep an eye on it.
The full-bodied Maestranza isn’t slowing down as it rounds third base. Spice, graphite, cedar, leather, coffee grounds, and powdered creamer are all commingling to deliver an undeniably impressive final impression. And it’s a lasting impression to be clear. Look, I know RoMa Craft’s Skip Martin has his opinion on cigar reviewers and our use of certain flavor descriptions and I respect his point of view. As someone who reviews cigars, Skip’s personal take is something I can’t help but think about whenever it’s time to review a new RoMa release. But when I’m able to sit down alone with a cigar and block out the rest of the world for two hours, my mind and palate perceive what follows next as they see fit. I could fight it, I could reason against it as Skip certainly knows more about tobacco than most, but in doing so I’d be denying myself something that both rings true to me and absolutely adds to my enjoyment of a good premium cigar. I think it’s cool and perfectly fine that both perspectives exist. Skip has mentioned that cigar reviewers could benefit greatly from more education and actual in-factory experience in order to gain invaluable, inside knowledge about these mysterious leaves we all smoke. How the different seed varietals, growing territories, processing techniques, and other factors contribute as to what we are actually/factually experiencing when we “taste” what we taste.
Such an education would require a significant time investment by cigar manufacturers and a relatively large financial investment from the various cigar media entities and I just don’t see that ever happening on any kind of consistent or legitimately effective basis. When your “podcasting studio” is the front seat of your car, funds for international airfare might be hard to come by. Or maybe not, what the hell do I know?** Sure, we can be graciously invited on a factory tour and, sometimes, we can even be lucky enough to “blend” our own cigars at the conclusion of our three hour crash course on every step of the manufacturing process. While these opportunities are a blast and they definitely provide much broader educational benefits, you certainly don’t fly home thinking that you’re now fully capable of identifying specific tobacco characteristics with any real sense of confidence. And if you do feel that way, if you’re returning to the U.S.A. as a self-appointed Master Blender, please don’t sit in an exit row as we need someone who’s not fucking insane to handle that responsibility.
The industry, and by that I mean the actual doers, the actual manufacturers, the actual shop owners, the actual real deal players with real deal stakes in the premium cigar world, they all patiently tolerate cigar media. These smart folks know perfectly well that nothing anybody can say to their live Facebook audience of 3 viewers, maybe 4 on a good night, will move the needle regarding sales numbers or amount to any kind of exposure that’s honestly worth a damn. But everyone likes to hear the sounds of their own voice now and then, so these kind, generous men and women occasionally sit down for our cameras and microphones and share their stories. It’s more often than not really cool to learn new details about one of your favorite brands and the people behind it. I’m usually one of the four people tuning in to these interviews because I’m a cigar nerd and I have no life. On the other hand, sometimes you quickly realize that certain people should be hit over the head with a boat oar by their wives before these dumdums can turn on their Zoom screens and start running their mouths. You know, like the A-Team did to Mr. T every time a mission involved getting on a plane.
So the real industry people get their egos stroked a bit, the interviewers feel validated that they are contributing somehow to said industry, and everyone seems happy at the end of the 5+ hour conversation. Plus the brand or shop owners can tell their children that their dad is in a YouTube video and the kids can fake like they’re impressed. Everybody wins! And on a side note, get this, if no actual guests are available – no problem! – the cigar media just interviews each other every week instead. Seriously, these dudes are constantly on each other’s shows, it’s like a weird circle jerk fueled by swirling clouds of Perdomo smoke. With the obvious exception of Halfwheel, that needs to be said. Myself and The Tuesday Nigh Cigar Club are as guilty of this masturbatory wackiness as any other media entity out there; but anyone who has listened to our show with regularity can confirm that we have grown far away from being delusional about the importance of what we do. Because after a while you can’t help but realize that it’s not important. However, it can be fun as hell! And the feeling that you have for being a part, no matter how insignificant, of an amazing world and subculture that you’re truly passionate about is genuinely special. But let’s all stop pissing on people’s heads and telling them it’s raining. We ALL ask these companies (in our different ways) to sponsor our hobby. Yes, even if you’re not the almighty Halfwheel, what we all do on our respective platforms is still a time-consuming effort requiring lots of attention and effort but, ultimately, it is essentially a hobby with benefits.*** Now what the fuck was I talking about? What just happened? Oh yeah, the Maestranza…
THE NUB
TNCC Final Score = 94
I’m pleased to report that the Maestranza Caballería Valencia isn’t just a “good premium cigar”, it’s a fucking great premium cigar at a great price point. The Maestranza is complex, never boring, and it required zero maintenance whatsoever. At some point late in the smoking experience, it dawned on me the reason I was taking so fondly to the Maestranza was that it featured many of the same characteristics that I find in the Intemperance EC XVIII, the Wunder|Lust, and my beloved Neanderthal. So in my eyes, the Maestranza is a RoMa Craft Greatest Hits album featuring many of the traits that I’ve come to love from their cigars over the years. Simply put, I can’t recommend it loudly enough. When I purchased this cigar locally from Smokers Abbey Austin, my highly-knowledgable tobacconist Ian suggested that the Caballería Valencia vitola was a shining example of the blend but that the shorter fatter Maestranza Castillito Murcia (5 x 60) was truly something special. I’m looking forward to smoking that chubby bastard in the near future.
* Final Smoking Time: 83 minutes
** The answer is nothing.
*** This rant kind of came out of nowhere. In the event that anybody even scrolled that far down in this review and actually read it, please know that my ranting was neither fueled by delicious bright scotch nor by my eternal disappointment and once borderline anger over never being invited to join in on one of the media circle jerks mentioned above. Are my feelings hurt? Yeah right, are you being serious? Uh no. Not even a little bit… I mean it could’ve been cool and I’m pretty sure that I could have guaranteed to pull in another 1 or 2 viewers by calling in some favors… but I respect their position and that’s why there’s no animosity on my part. I totally understand! Besides, I’m now happily retired from the podcasting grind and to hold any ill will or lingering resentments would be silly. Silly! Really, I’m fine. I didn’t want to go on their stupid shows anyway.
