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Episode 26 – My Bloody Valentine / Merciless cigar / Don de Dieu beer

"If a guy named Troll tells you he's ready to 'hit the noise and the cherries' while standing next to you in the communal shower... RUN LIKE HELL!"
"It's Valentine's Day the calender said, now listen to this podcast or you'll be dead! Well, not dead per se, but you'll be certainly be missing out on some things... YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!!" Happy the Bartender

“It’s Valentine’s Day the calender said, now listen to this podcast or you’ll be dead! Well, not dead per se, but you’ll be certainly be missing out on some things… YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!!!”
Happy the Bartender

Happy Valentine’s Day!!! This episode is for all you lovers out there. Especially those of you who love blood, guts, quality cigars, and delicious beer. So snuggle up by the fireplace, press play below or in iTunes, and get ready for The Tuesday Night Cigar Club to show you the time of your life. You deserve it, baby.

THE CIGAR – MERCILESS by JOYA de NICARAGUA

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“Shop exclusives” are a sometimes controversial entity in the cigar world. Often when a manufacturer blends a cigar specifically to be sold in a designated brick and mortar retailer, it’s in limited supply and if the shop doesn’t do orders over the phone you’re shit out of luck getting your hands on them. And if you do luck into a few and fall in love with them, odds are you’ll be heart broken when trying to obtain the cigars again. The good news is that’s NOT the case with the Merciless by Joya de Nicaragua. JdN created this affordable and well-stocked cigar for Famous Smoke Shop and with a couple clicks of your mouse they can be yours (Churchills go for anywhere from $5.00 – $6.50 depending on how many you buy at a time). Also, I recommend downloading the Cigar Monster smartphone ap from Famous and keeping your eye trained on their Daily Mega Mashup deals for some insane discounts on these cigars as well. So we’ve got a readily available stogie at a reasonable price point from one of the most respected factories in the industry. But is it any good?
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The answer is yes, the Merciless cigar is quite good. The nicely constructed stogie with a milk chocolate colored Ecuadoran Habano wrapper sucker punches you right in the jaw upon setting fire to the foot. There’s truth in advertising – this sonofabitch is merciless!!! Cody’s eyes were watering, Tut literally spun out of his chair… This blast of red pepper and spice reminded me instantly of the thrilling pain you get from eating a big glob of wasabi with your sushi. It burns so damn bad against the roof of your mouth but it’s a damn good, damn fun burn even though your nose is instantly running like a leaky faucet. But then, showing the mastery behind its blending, the Merciless cigar pulled up “like a quarter horse rounding the barrel” (Tut’s words once he was able to speak again) and down shifted gears. The wasabi-like kick was replaced for the duration of the smoke by a woodsy, rich earthiness that’s very enjoyable. This profile has no complexity per se but that’s ok with me at this price point if the one dominant flavor is pleasurable and that’s certainly the case here. A creaminess briefly joined the party in the second half and I wish it would have stuck around longer. But if wishes and buts were candy and nuts we’d all have a happy Valentine’s Day… That was terrible, I’m so damn soree… (that’s how Canadians say “sorry” according to tonight’s film)
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The pairing between the cigar and beer was one of the best we’ve conducted in recent memory. Their vast differences really helped to balance each other out and the pairing benefited both subjects immensely in my opinion. While the complex beer had flavors galore (see below, I quit counting after detecting the 500th flavor), the baseline earthiness of the Merciless cigar accompanied the beer perfectly. Like a good bass player it kept things moving along at a steady clip without making a fuss about it.

Merciless is the Michael Anthony of the cigar world.

Merciless is the Michael Anthony of the cigar world.

THE BEER – DON de DIEU by UNIBROUE

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The Canadian party animals in tonight’s film chug Moosehead Beer like there’s no tomorrow (and for some of these poor hosers, there in fact is NO tomorrow!) and we looked everywhere in Central Texas to secure ourselves a case of this tasty brew. But with only a solitary sixer to be found, we made the call to go in a different direction beer-wise but stay in the Canadian frame of mind. Enter the Don de Dieu.
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If you’re looking for a shit ton of different flavors thrown at you, look no farther than the Don de Dieu. Wheat, ritz crackers, bananas, peaches, pears, and that was just in the first few sips! Cody mentioned “biscuits” at some point in the conversation but I’m not sure if he was referring to tasting a simple basic biscuit flavor in the beer, or a more complex biscuits and gravy note, or maybe hints of Milkbone dog biscuits… We all picked up on some nice floral notes as the beer reached the bottom of the murky pint glass as well. This “Belgian Strong Pale Ale” has some weight to it and a thick viscosity as the brewers actually leave a bit of wheat in the beer when bottled to allow the fermentation process to continue beyond the factory doors.
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The other guys seemed to be much more complimentary towards this beer than I was although, as mentioned above, I thought the Don de Dieu paired beautifully with tonight’s cigar. I guess you’re damned if you Dieu and damned if you don’t. That was just terrible, I’m so damn soree…

THE FILM – MY BLOODY VALENTINE (1982)

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See that big guy with the mustache in the pics above? His name’s HOLLIS and he fucking rocks. You can watch this highly underrated slasher film for the iconic villain (we discuss on the show why Harry Warden never became the next Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees), you can watch for the buckets of blood and crazy inventive gore effects (some of which were revolutionary for the time and inexcusably edited out to achieve an R-rating), but if none of those valid points of interest suit your fancy than you can watch to bask in the holy batshit awesomeness that is HOLLIS. Trust me, have I ever steered you wrong before? Oh yeah, there was the Old Rasputin Imperial Stout episode…

"About that Old Rasputin Imperial Stout podcast where we all got so shitfaced we forgot our own names... Listen baby, I'm so damn soree..."

“About that Old Rasputin Imperial Stout podcast where we all got so shitfaced we literally forgot our own names… Listen baby, I’m so damn soree…”

Speaking of inventive kills, there’s a fantastic death scene in My Bloody Valentine where Harry Warden drowns a poor bastard in a pot of boiling hot dogs. What a way to go!!!
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Look you hosers, just listen to the damn show and follow along as the TNCC crew really digs beneath the surface of this often overlooked masterpiece of Canadian horror. Get it, “beneath the surface” because the film takes place down in a coal mine? I’m so damn soree, folks…

THE NUB

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While the beer didn’t quite work for everybody and the cigar was by no means complex, when paired together they brought out the best in each other. Kind of like the four of us do… maybe. And to make it up to you loyal fans for all the bad jokes, I’m going to drop another Michael Anthony pic here at no extra charge.
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Thank you for checking out The Tuesday Night Cigar Club and we’ll see you next time when we review another cigar, adult beverage, and film. May the wings of liberty never lose a feather…

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TNCC Podcast

Brother of the Leaf, Filmmaker, Prophet, former Mr. South Dakota 1996. I was a bouncer on the child beauty pageant circuit until one too many juice boxes went missing and somebody had to take the fall. I was set up. Ok, I was thirsty. All that hairspray in the air dries out your throat like a motherfu... I apologize to no man. Now I host the Tuesday Night Cigar Club podcast.

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