When I was but a lad, frolicking innocently in the not so leafy glades of central Texas, my childhood merriment often focused around Star Wars. The now defunct toymaker Kenner had produced a splendid and diverse cache of toys from the Star Wars universe; in fact, the toys were a universe unto themselves. Oh, how many afternoons did the elementary school-aged Doctor spend attacking Imperial Walkers in my Rebel Landspeeder on the icy tundra of Hoth or engaging in epic lightsaber duels in the pastel twilight of Cloud City? Twas a galaxy not so far away, perhaps, but a place much better than this one. Again, I digress…
Did you have an original Ewok Village from Kenner as a child? Those lovable, furry little bastards…
Numerous toys, old school VCR tapes, comic books, collector’s drinking glasses from Burger King, and even a Darth Vader light-switch plate which I still have in a drawer somewhere… yes, the original Star Wars universe meant a lot to me and it always will. Alas, the winds of change eventually caress us all, and we are forced to grow up or at least make a half-assed attempt at it. My toys were given away to some little shit who was completely unappreciative and I began gravitating towards stethoscopes and stogies and beverages that had an alcohol percentage. But why look back, eh? The point of this longwinded introduction was not to bore anyone with my wistful wanderings. It was about Star Wars. More to the point, it was about everything released theatrically under the Star Wars label after 1983. First came the “Special Editions” in 1997. Granted, the presentations on Blu Ray are nothing short of astounding, but to purists like myself they were entirely unnecessary. The original films did not require modification. As for the prequels, I will leave the much calumniated The Phantom Menace alone. Kicking a broken-down horse is an act of terrible cruelty and I desire no part in it. What of Attack of the Clones or Revenge of the Sith? Or the latter-day sequels The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi, featuring the now aged original actors in small supporting roles? Decent movies, to be sure, but the original trilogy was not comprised of “decent” movies. The films of the original trilogy were wonderful, monumental experiences. They were – and still are – legendary films that redefined what motion pictures could do and what they could make you feel and imagine. I am not one of those pathetic sad-sacks who decries remakes and sequels and makes outlandish claims that they have destroyed my childhood. Nothing is so strong as to destroy The Doctor’s childhood and the memories of my nights in Jabba’s Palace jamming out with the Max Rebo Band. Suffice it to say – and I know that this opinion will be unpopular with many of my fellow believers in The Force – if it had ended with Return of the Jedi, my life would have not have been any less fulfilling. Having said that, I will point out that my favorite post-1983 Star Wars film – an opinion shared by TNCC president Matthew Cade – was the spinoff/prequel Rogue One, featuring a host of interesting new characters including the lovely Felicity Jones as Jyn Erso. My interest was therefore piqued by the current spinoff/prequel of Solo: A Star Wars Story. I hate preconceived notions when it comes to watching movies, but sometimes it is unavoidable, so in honor of Chewbacca I slung a bandolier of Steel Reserve malt liquor cans over my shoulder and headed to the local cinema for a 4:45 pm weekday viewing.
Does “Solo: A Star Wars Story” feature an early Max Rebo gig, perhaps one where Max pounds a few scotches before taking the stage at Bib Fortuna’s Lounge Revue? No, but let’s give it a chance anyway…
The saga begins with what I presume to be an approximately twenty-year old Han Solo (Alden Ehrenreich) and his girlfriend Qi’ra (the beautiful Emilia Clarke) eking out a living by performing petty crimes on their home planet of Corellia, a murky fog-coated shithole known for its shipbuilding prowess. Unfortunately, Qi’ra is apprehended right at the second as Han slips away, leading to Han enlisting in the Imperial Navy. Three years pass… and now Solo, kicked out of flight school, is fighting horrific land battles as a foot soldier on some other faraway, murky disaster of a planet. It is in the aftermath of one such battle that he meets career criminal Tobias Beckett (the always welcome Woody Harrelson) and his crew. Solo impresses Beckett with his chutzpah and, after freeing Chewbacca from a mudhole jail pit, he joins up with Beckett to provide support on an improbable heist of the valuable mineral Coaxium. This is a thrilling action sequence that takes place on an elevated train travelling through snow-capped mountain peaks. A group of Skyspeeder-bound marauders crashes the gig, however, and the unsuccessful Coaxium score places Beckett – and now Solo – further in debt to the Crimson Dawn, a shadowy criminal organization run by Dryden Vos played with an eerie menace by Paul Bettany.
Paul Bettany delivers a good performance as the evil criminal warlord Dryden Vos in “Solo: A Star Wars Story”. Did the facial scars come from an unfortunate dating experience with a female Wampa? We aren’t told, but I like to think so…
Solo is shocked to be reunited with Qi’ra who has somehow escaped the bowels of Corellia and now appears to be Dryden’s main lieutenant and possible squeeze. In order to save their hides, Beckett and Solo – with Qi’ra now in tow – are off on another misadventure to steal some unrefined Coaxium and then make the infamous Kessel Run. Along the way they try to acquire a ship in a high stakes card game with a young Lando Calrissian, played fantastically by Donald Glover. Not only does Glover perfectly imitate the voice of Billy Dee Williams, but he captures both the suave derring-do of the debonair gambler as well as his cape-wearing foppishness. Casting Glover was a win for this movie, and he makes the part of young Lando his own.
Donald Glover delivers an engaging performance as the young Lando Calrissian.
I’ll always prefer the handheld work and the wonderful miniatures brought to life by effects hall-of-famers John Dykstra and Phil Tippett as opposed to CGI, but this is as good as CGI gets and most of the scenery is up to par. Some of the narrative turns are too pat – Beckett takes to Solo a little too quickly, and I couldn’t care less about how Han got his blaster – but essentially these are movies for the childlike wonder and sense of adventure that hopefully stays alive in all of us. The pace never really wavers and the intensity picks up as the film continues. As far as Alden Ehrenreich as Han Solo is concerned? If we are being honest, there is nothing bad about his performance; it’s just impossible to be fair to the young actor. Han Solo is one of the more iconic roles in film history, brought to life by one of the most famous actors in the world over the past 40 years. For God’s sake, Harrison Ford also gave us Indiana Jones meaning that he was responsible for two of the more iconic roles in film history! Harrison Ford was Han Solo. How could anyone hope to live up to the expectations? I myself went in without expectations but I am sure there are plenty of Force believers who are going to take the young man to task, simply because he is not a twentyish Harrison Ford. Ehrenreich was fine, but neither did he steal the show. Solo: A Star Wars Story is helped by the gravitas of Woody Harrelson, the menacing villainy of Paul Bettany, the smoldering Emilia Clarke, and the aforementioned qualities of Donald Glover’s Lando. That Ehrenreich seems to hold his own amongst these others is something to be said in his favor. If you are going to hold it against Ehrenreich that he is not Harrison Ford, then you may as well chastise The Doctor for not being F. Scott Fitzgerald. Of course I’m not. Kiss my ass. Sorry, I’m sorry, I was briefly carried away on a sea of Steel Reserve-fueled hubris…
Alden Ehrenreich as Han Solo. Harrison Ford he aint, but then again, no one else is either so be fair to the kid when taking in “Solo: A Star Wars Story”
Will Solo: A Star Wars Story be a stand-alone entry in the Star Wars anthology or will it garner a sequel? That will depend on the box-office receipts, of course, but its an entertaining enough movie in its own right. The Star Wars junkies who have watched The Force Awakens five times in the last two years will not be disappointed. If you are like The Doctor, it’s an entertaining flick to watch with some buttery popcorn and the beverage of your choice. Princess Leia may no longer be with us, but she and I will always have Cloud City…
As always, my friends, The Doctor wishes you all a clean bill of health.
