Episode 68 – Wet And Wild Summer! (1992) / Ogre Seventy cigar / Fosters Premium Ale

Those were simpler times, a guy could get drunk and order drinks in a bad Irish leprechaun accent and not feel bad about it the next day. Nowadays you're an asshole...

“Those were simpler times, a guy could get drunk and order drinks in a bad Irish leprechaun accent and not feel bad about it the next day. Nowadays you’re an asshole”

Folks, I tried to do Leprechaun movie tonight for Saint Patrick’s Day, I really truly did. But the latest entry in the tiny green franchise Leprechaun: Origins was so damn bad that I just couldn’t subject either fellow TNCC brothers or you to suffer through its boring tale. I mean, what the hell, how do you have a Leprechaun film without one single shot of a little person wearing his little buckled boots and giggling his little Irish ass off as he tells his catchy little limericks?!? Uh oh… I just noticed that I used the word little four times in the last sentence… am I in some kind of trouble here? Look, maybe I should speak to my lawyer… Anyhoo so while we all wore green and smoked a green cigar, we ended up drinking an Australian beer and watching an Australian movie. Why? Because we do what we want and it made sense to us. Welcome everybody to the Tuesday Night Cigar Club’s 4th Annual Saint Patty’s Day Drinking & Partying Extravaganza!!!

THE OGRE SEVENTY by ASYLUM 13

As loyal fans of the show know by now, we are highly regarded professional cigar experts and because of that professionalism we will NOT be making any phallic jokes regarding the size of tonight’s cigar. Nope, we’d never do that…

Size: 7 x 70!
Wrapper: Nicaraguan Habano & Nicaraguan Candela
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Nicaraguan
Price: $9.06 (Famous Smoke Shop)

   

   

   

   

Let’s go ahead and address the elephant in the room, literally, this cigar is fucking ENORMOUS. While some of us are used to holding a 7×70 object in our hands on a daily basis, others were not and you could sense that the boys had a hard time wrapping their heads (and hands) around this sucker. As The Doctor astutely points out on the show, this is the first barber pole cigar that can actually be used as an actual barber pole! But enough size jokes, we get enough of those in our day-to-day lives, let’s talk about the stogie itself like the professional internet experts that we are…

   

   

   

I assured the local volunteer fire department as they rolled up to The Corner Of No Hope that we were in no real danger but the smoke production of this monster cigar is copious to put it mildly. And, for a stick this size, early on (once you get it going which, like a good campfire, takes some time) the construction is perfect with a fantastic draw and razor sharp burn line. There’s an initial black pepper burn on the retrohale with a hay/grassy note and the instantly recognizable Nicaraguan mineral and earth on the draw.

   

   

   

As the smoking experience progressed, two out of the four cigars experienced major wrapper issues – in that they began to unwrap wildly from around the binder of the cigar. The initial spice was now gone and while some experienced the hay and grassiness full throttle above all other notes, the rest of us were still picking up on the mineral and traditional earthy Nicaraguan tobacco flavors. Around the midway point, however, we all sadly agreed that the grassy note was dominate above all else which will happen with a Candella wrapped cigar and we were left to desperately seek out other flavors that just weren’t there.

   

   

   

   

Did the Ogre Seventy surprise us with any new revelations in the final third? What exactly does Guy Fieri put into his amaze balls Insane Sauce? Watch the show below to find out!

FINAL TNCC SCORE: 86

PREMIUM ALE by FOSTERS

Ever try to raise your massive glass for a toast when it’s filled with a massive can of Fosters? It can be exhausting if you don’t have massive upper body strength like yours truly…

Ok ok, I picked tonight’s beer for two reasons. One, it’s Australian like tonight’s film and, two, I thought the giant novelty oversized cans would pair aesthetically very well with our giant oversized cigars. But it turns out that the Fosters brewery was founded by a couple IRISH American brothers so it turns out the beer fits into our Saint Patrick’s Day theme as well! We are highly regarded professional internet beer expert folks, don’t try this at home or you will fail…

   

   

   

   

The verdict? We all heavily preferred this Fosters offering to the far more popular lager in the big blue can. You definitely pick up on some of the hop presence and it has a nice smoothness on the overall profile, totally devoid of that expected Fosters lager maltiness, and that makes for easy drinking all night long. Assuming your arm doesn’t cramp up from lifting the ridiculously large cans… which I had no problem with due to my superior bicep and deltoid development. Just sayin.

Cheers mates!

WET AND WILD SUMMER! (1992)

This is an interesting foreign film to say the least. Actually “saying the least” isn’t even remotely close to what the TNCC is about (obviously) so I think it’s fair to say that after joining us for 3 hours of fascinating film discussion you’re going to know everything there is to know about Australia, men’s swimwear, “white tips”, and Guy Fieri. Yep, who knew that a confusing half-baked 90’s T&A comedy (?) could lead us into such a diverse and entertaining conversation. And to think, if the movie had kept its absolutely awful original title of Exchange Lifeguards (??) I probably would have never given it a chance!

So what are you waiting for, mate? Watch or listen to the show below and join the party!!!

THE NUB

   

Well, I think you’re really going to enjoy our Saint Patty’s Day party from Down Under. It’s a little Irish, a little Australian, and a whole lot of Insane Sauce. That reference will make a hell of a lot more sense once you’ve watched the show, so get to it!

Top o’ the mornin’ to ya, motherfuckers!!!

Please leave us comments on the YouTube episode page, provide us with a review on iTunes, or be a real stud and do both! All these seemingly small gestures would be greatly appreciated as they let us know exactly what you’re thinking about this sweat soaked tidal wave of hardbodied insanity we like to call The Tuesday Night Cigar Club.

Below is tonight’s full episode for both your viewing and listening pleasure. Thank you for checking out The Tuesday Night Cigar Club and we’ll see you next time when we review another cigar, adult beverage, and film. May the wings of liberty never lose a feather…

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TNCC Podcast

Brother of the Leaf, Filmmaker, Prophet, former Mr. South Dakota 1996. I was a bouncer on the child beauty pageant circuit until one too many juice boxes went missing and somebody had to take the fall. I was set up. Ok, I was thirsty. All that hairspray in the air dries out your throat like a motherfu... I apologize to no man. Now I host the Tuesday Night Cigar Club podcast.

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