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Episode 99 – The Ice Pirates (1984), Buckeye Land cigar, Einstök Icelandic Arctic Pale Ale

Our special guest Keith A. Howell pointed out to us that the cool-as-shit Einstock beer can logo featuring the Viking with the horns on his helmet is total bullshit as no real Vikings ever wore horns on their helmets. It looks good, it looks cool, but it’s total bullshit... just like everything else.

First and foremost, we have a very special guest in The Corner Of No Hope tonight, so please don’t let the occasional focus issue on our YouTube video throw you off (it disappears around the hour mark, we are testing out a new camera so bear with us). Keith A. Howell, the man whose smooth voiceover work has opened and closed our show for many years now, happened to be in the neighborhood so we had him pick a film for discussion and it was party time!

THE CIGAR – BUCKEYE LAND by CROWNED HEADS

Size: 6 x 48
Wrapper: Mexican San Andrés
Binder: Connecticut Broadleaf
Filler: Nicaragua & USA (Pennsylvania)
Price: $9.80

Jon Huber, co-founder of Crowned Heads, had this to say in a press release:
“We’ve garnered a strong following in Ohio over the years. That state also holds a special place in my heart as my wife was born in Lancaster, Ohio. Her maiden name is ‘Land,’ hence ‘Buckeye Land.’ We could not be more excited to be working with Willy Herrera and Drew Estate on this project. I believe Willy and I share a similar admiration for the artistry and tradition of cigar-making, and as such, the creative process of this particular project was very fluid.”

We acquired these good looking cigars at Smoker’s Abby in Cedar Park, TX as a result of “Lawless Day” – the one day in a calendar year when Crowned Heads opens up sales of its regional releases to other shops around the country. FYI, the Yellow Rose (Texas) and Tennessee Waltz (you figure it out) are the other cigars in this state-specific series. As our special guest Keith was born and raised in Ohio, this made the selection of tonight’s cigar a no-brainer.

The cold draw revealed flavors of hay, cocoa powder, chocolate malt balls, and leather. Now, granted, there’s four of us at the table tonight but that’s still a plethora of flavors coming off the cold draw before we even lit this sucker up! Once we set fire to the foot, we got a nice jalapeño pepper sensation through the nose with dark chocolate and leather immediately showing up on the palate. Smoke production, per Willy Herrera’s skillset, is copious and dense as the thick grey smoke pours off the foot and lingers along the body of the Buckeye Land beautifully.

It’s worth noting, that this is a very cool episode to listen to or watch (links below) because our guest isn’t a cigar smoker, so it was refreshing and very interesting to hear his personal experience while smoking the Buckeye Land. Toward the end of the first third a creaminess joins the party and it mixes it up beautifully with the chocolate and the leather. That ying and yang of the creamy flavors on the palate commingling with the spice on the nose – fuck yeah. In the final third a woodsy oak note comes out of nowhere and it seems right at home with the established flavors as the dark chocolate fades away and the spice on the retrohale ramps up. What a ride. Four Thumbs Up!!!!

TNCC Final Score: 91

THE BEER – ICELANDIC WEE HEAVY & PALE ALE by EINSTÖK BEER COMPANY

Tonight we drank two separate offerings from the Einstök Ölgerð (Einstök Beer Company). We started off with their Wee Heavy and despite the 8% ABV, make no mistake, you can easily pound these beers into the wee hours of the morning. It’s surprisingly smooth and delicious and it doesn’t have that bite that most Scottish ales have which usually hit you right in the wee wee.

Speaking of delicious – the Icelandic Pale Ale is equally approachable, it’ll quench your thirst 10 days out of 10 and the hop presence is a non factor. The IBUs are negligible here, there’s no bitterness present just a slight floral aroma and a somewhat dry taste that really works. It’s a refreshing beer and that must be fully attributed to that special Icelandic water used in the blend. Speaking of Icelandic vikings, our special guest Keith A. Howell pointed out to us that the cool-as-shit Einstock beer can logo featuring the Viking with the horns on his helmet is total bullshit as no real Vikings ever wore horns on their helmets. It looks good, it looks cool, but it’s total bullshit. Luckily the beers were not.

Four Thumbs Up!!!!

THE FILM – ICE PIRATES (1984)

Directed and co-written by Stewart Raffill (Mac and Me, Mannequin 2: On The Move, 1994’s Tammy & The T-Rex, a 2007 steamy looking flick called Bad Girl Island that I’m going to have to check out at some point, and much much more) tonight’s film is batshit fucking crazy in every way shape and form. Need proof?

Exhibit A

Ready for Exhibit B? Our “hero” looks down the blouse of a sleeping beauty in the first 15 minutes of the movie and he’s about to do a hell of a lot more to her unconscious body before a fellow ice pirate stops him…

Princess Karina barely escapes Bill Cosby, er, I mean an ice pirate named Jason

Oh and then our “hero” may or may not have gone down on a mutant Frog Woman in order to borrow her land speeder to zip around an alien planet. I think he did, Keith A. Howell thought he was just being flirtatious and no amphibian cunninlingus took place…

Did he or didn’t he? You be the judge!

The only thing better than watching The Ice Pirates is watching us (or listening to us) talk about it. So hit up the links below and prepare yourself to laugh, learn, and laugh some more.

THE NUB

Man, what a night! I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that next up is EPISODE 100. It’s going to be really hard to top tonight’s show but we’ll try our best. Well, we’ll try. Ok ok, we will show up and see what happens. Until next time suckas!

And, yes, Keith does tonight’s opening and closing live at the table. It’s pretty rad.

Please leave us comments on the YouTube episode page, provide us with a review on iTunes, or be a real stud and do both! All these seemingly small gestures would be greatly appreciated as they let us know exactly what you’re thinking about this sweat soaked tidal wave of hardbodied insanity we like to call The Tuesday Night Cigar Club.

Below is tonight’s full episode for both your viewing and listening pleasure. Thank you for checking out The Tuesday Night Cigar Club and we’ll see you next time when we review another cigar, adult beverage, and film. May the wings of liberty never lose a feather…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Brother of the Leaf, Filmmaker, Prophet, former Mr. South Dakota 1996. I was a bouncer on the child beauty pageant circuit until one too many juice boxes went missing and somebody had to take the fall. I was set up. Ok, I was thirsty. All that hairspray in the air dries out your throat like a motherfu... I apologize to no man. Now I host the Tuesday Night Cigar Club podcast.

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