Episode 145 – Girls With Balls (2018), The American cigar, American Beers

Welcome back to this sweat soaked tidal wave of hardbodied insanity we like to call The Tuesday Night Cigar Club!

“We’re like a drunken and much smarter Dr. Oz! Where’s our fucking TV show?”

This is the second episode this month that I have to issue this statement: TONIGHT’S FEATURED FILM IS NOT A PORNO. I had to explain ourselves with the selection of Teen Lust a few shows ago and then I’m minding my own business and stumble across the movie Girls With Balls… and I don’t know what it says about me that I keep finding (and watching) these flicks with questionable titles but, fortunately, they’ve both resulted in some very entertaining podcasts. So you’re welcome, folks. Now click on the links at the bottom of this page and JOIN THE PARTY as our 2021 MARCH TO HALLOWEEN BEGINS!!!

THE CIGAR – THE AMERICAN by J.C. NEWMAN CIGAR COMPANY

Size: 5.5 x 56 (double robusto)
Wrapper: Florida sungrown
Binder: Connecticut broadleaf
Filler: Connecticut havana & Pennsylvania Mennonite
Price: $17.50 (And please remember when purchasing some tasty J.C. Newman cigars or other fine premium cigars from FamousSmokeShop.com to use your new favorite promo code TNCC20 at checkout where it will knock $20 off your purchase of $100 or more)

The American was the first cigar rolled with Florida Sun Grown wrapper, grown in Clermont, Florida (Hey we’ve been to that farm!). The binder is Connecticut Broadleaf grown by eighth-generation family farmer Jon Foster (Hey we’ve been to that farm too!) and the filler is a blend of Foster’s Connecticut Havana tobacco with tobaccos grown by the Mennonites in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania (Hey we’ve partied with those Amish badasses as well!). So how about that? Thanks to the Drew Estate Barn Smoker program we have set foot in every tobacco field responsible for tonight’s cigar. And thank you to our sponsor J.C. Newman for submitting these cigars to us for review!

With a thicker ring guage, the Double Robusto also has an extra leaf of Pennsylvania ligero tobaccos, making it the strongest of the American cigars. And get this – all of the packaging, from the wood in the cigar boxes, to the paper for cigar labels, to the cellophane that protects each cigar, is made in the United States as well. Cigar enthusiasts who visit J.C. Newman’s 111-year-old cigar factory in Tampa can see The American being rolled and learn about the history of American cigar making in the J.C. Newman Cigar Museum. I don’t believe we’ve ever smoked an American puro here on the show before so what better time than now when we’re going to be talking about a French film… yeah, that’s how we roll folks. Hey, listen up, volleyball (the subject of tonight’s film) was invented in 1895 by William G. Morgan, physical director of the Young Men’s Christian Association (YMCA) in Holyoke, Massachusetts. Last time I checked that was in AMERICA so there you go, my expert level pairing status is secured for yet another two weeks…

This big boy is designated as a double robusto vitola and it has a nice weight to it in your hand. The Florida sun grown wrapper features a pleasant leather aroma and there’s an easily detected dense, rich sweetness present when sniffing the foot of the cigar directly. There’s a light milk chocolate presence on the cold draw (I sensed a slight mint as well but we determined that was probably my crazy beer’s influence at work). Upon setting The American on fire, there’s an immediate wasabi-like spice that floods your nostrils and hovers in there for the long haul, it’s quite potent and a nice respite from the usual blast of black pepper spice that we usually experience from the Nicaraguan tobaccos that we feature heavily on the show. Once we became acclimated to the strength and overwhelming power of that special retrohale, we all picked up notes of smooth leather and toasted bread on the draw. The aroma pouring off of the The American is highly enjoyable as well.

Around the halfway mark a touch of sweetness begins to join the wasabi spice through the back of the nose. I found it to be a flavor reminiscent of vanilla cake icing and, yes, that’s as awesome as it sounds. That vanilla note begins to creep in through the draw a little later as well. Speaking of the draw, it remains consistent throughout the smoking experience with its profile of leather and toast. Construction was impressive overall with a smooth draw, copious smoke production, and The American held a big clunky ash like a true American hero.

It must be noted that we all agreed (which is highly rare) that the powerful Pennsylvania ligero-fueled retrohale was the absolute star of the show and the fact that the cigar still maintained a consistent balance throughout was beyond impressive. And when you factor in the other highly enjoyable flavors such as vanilla icing (!) and toast… well we easily declared The American double robusto puro a winner. And while our beer pairings mostly missed their intended marks tonight, we concluded that a creamy vanilla stout or even a milk stout would pair beautifully with this cigar once the Texas weather finally dips below 1,000 degrees Fahrenheit. So go grab you a handful of Americans, some creamy stouts, and let us know what you think!

TNCC FINAL SCORE = 92

THE BEERS

Once again folks, usually (before the mini apocalypse was thrust upon all of us in 2020) we would carefully – some of you have said “expertly” – pair our evening’s beer with the cigar and movie and we’d all sit around the table and drink that same beer and compare notes. But since this whole COVID-19 shitshow went down, each member of the TNCC is now solely responsible for risking their lives out in the wild and acquiring their own beers for each episode… usually with very mixed results.

CADE’S BEER – ADULT ICARUS by INGENIOUS BREWING

Thank God we smoked The American tonight because I needed a true American badass cigar to swoop in with some real strength and kick this crazy strong 12.5% beer’s ass before it kicked mine. We always worry about our show beers washing out the flavors of the cigars but that motherfuckin’ cigar absolutely killed everything disagreeable about the Adult Icarus to where I could drink it without making a gas face the rest of the night. This beer pours like a murky science experiment and the I found the first few sips to honestly be very disagreeable. For a quadruple IPA, I found this beer could have benefitted from a much stronger hop bitterness in its profile to combat some of the uber malty front end and the warm orange juice element on the back end. Having said all that, by the time I got to my 3rd pint I found the Adult Icarus to be far more enjoyable than the first two I drank. Imagine that, alcohol once again makes everything better… even alcohol! Oh and in case you’re wondering why I selected this particular beer for this evening’s show, our film is centered around girls who play the GAME of volleyball and this quadruple IPA is based on the Nintendo video GAME Kid Icarus.
CADE’S PAIRING GRADE = A-

TUT’S BEER – WANDERING BLONDE by BEAR KING BREWING

We certainly do have a lot of wandering blondes in tonight’s movie so kudos to Tut for somehow noticing those beautiful actresses and picking an appropriate beer in their honor. This typical blonde ale clocks in at 5.4% and 15 IBUs. Tut found the Wandering Blonde’s flavor profile surpassed many other boring, nondescript blonde ales that he’d sampled recently and as a result he halfheartedly recommended it as “not bad”. It’s our overall consensus that in the world of craft beers, blondes certainly do NOT have more fun.
TUT’s PAIRING GRADE = B

YAK BOY’S BEER – TRIPPING HAZARD by WILD MIND ALES

Many of our female protagonists in Girls with Balls do indeed trip over shit while being chased through the woods by homicidal hillbilly rednecks so I both like and respect the pairing job Yaks did here… in theory. Unfortunately our “resident beer expert” didn’t realize that he had purchased a fruited sour beer to drink tonight and when it comes to cigar pairings, that’s usually not a winning combination. The Tripping Hazard is essentially an orange smoothie that comes in at 4.5% and while Yaks found it tasty, the cigar’s strength completely destroyed all the beer’s flavor with every puff.
YAK BOY’S PAIRING GRADE = C-

THE FILM – GIRLS WITH BALLS (2021)

The Girls With Balls screenplay was cowritten by Jean-Luc Cano and director Olivier Afonso (who is one of France’s premier special effects artists). First things first, this film is French and it’s available on Netflix in both French dialogue with subtitles and dubbed English… which I didn’t realize until a few minutes in when I wondered why nobody’s lips were matching the words coming out of their mouths. So I stuck with the English dubbing WITH the English subtitles turned on which was an interesting experiment to say the least (check out our show for more on that) BUT the dubbing wasn’t at all a distraction for me once I knew what the fuck was going on. They actually did a really impressive job of making it work as this movie truly puts the “acting” in voice acting. So if you’re planning on watching this movie on Netflix at some point, you have options!

The absolutely stunning Manon Azem as Morgan. She might be the most beautiful actress we’ve ever featured on the show which is saying something considering how many 80’s bikini beach movies we’ve talked about!

Having said all that, Girls with Balls is also one of the best horror-comedies we’ve seen in a very long time. Channeling the spirit of early Peter Jackson and Sam Raimi, this film balances all the elements of gore and laughs expertly resulting in a very well-executed, extremely fun movie. So click the links below and watch or listen to the show RIGHT NOW and we’ll take you along for one hell of a ride!

THE NUB

Please leave us comments on the YouTube episode page and subscribe while you’re there, provide us with a review on iTunes, or be a real stud and do both! All these seemingly small gestures would be greatly appreciated as they let us know exactly what you’re thinking about this sweat-soaked tidal wave of hardbodied insanity we like to call The Tuesday Night Cigar Club.

Only 40 more days to Halloween! Sayonara Motherfuckers!!!

Below is tonight’s full episode for both your viewing and listening pleasure. Thank you for checking out The Tuesday Night Cigar Club and we’ll see you next time when we review another cigar, adult beverage, and film. May the wings of liberty never lose a feather…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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TNCC Podcast

Brother of the Leaf, Filmmaker, Prophet, former Mr. South Dakota 1996. I was a bouncer on the child beauty pageant circuit until one too many juice boxes went missing and somebody had to take the fall. I was set up. Ok, I was thirsty. All that hairspray in the air dries out your throat like a motherfu... I apologize to no man. Now I host the Tuesday Night Cigar Club podcast.

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