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Episode 87 – The Package (2018) / Neanderthal Genetic Deformity & H-Town Lancero cigars / Hop Stoopid IPA

Simply put, we highly enjoyed both these things made of tobacco...

“Camping? When we were teens we’d get a cheap hotel room and drink like crackheads do crack. Summer nights…”

I honestly thought cinematic comedy was barely breathing at Death’s door these days. It had been so long since I hurt my gut laughing at a movie that I almost gave up hope… boy, am I’m glad that I didn’t. Tonight’s film is beyond funny. And luckily tonight’s cigars and beer were both far beyond average as well. This is a party you will want in on, trust me.

THE CIGAR #1 – NEANDERTHAL GENETIC DEFORMITY

Size: 4 1/4 x 52
Wrapper: US Connecticut Broadleaf Maduro & Ecuador Habano Ligero Barberpole
Binder: Connecticut Broadleaf
Filler: Various Nicaraguan, Dominican Ligero, & Pennsylvania Double Ligero
Price: $10.25

   

   

   

   

Tut sensed cocoa and hay on cold draw but the rest of us just got notes of tobacco because that’s all there really is to sense on a cold draw. Upon ignition I got a head-clearing blast of spice, I literally had a head cold and it was instantly gone after the third puff on this monster. Yak Boy said he got notes of dark chocolate on the draw after roasting the foot but, cmon, he was just tasting tobacco. I picked up what I thought was coffee early in but it was probably just tobacco. All half-ass tobacco jokes aside (tobajokes?), this cigar delivers a gritty punch in the face right outta the gate.

   

   

   

Make no mistake true believers, this is one of the finest ligero monsters on the planet and even in this “deformed” version that ligero strength shines through. Coffee, earth, and a faint sense of dark chocolate are all present and accounted for but ultimately it’s just fucking tobacco. Tut thought he did pick up on a dip here and there in the retrohale spice and he attributed that to the barber pole wrapper but, let’s be real, it’s just tobacco acting like tobacco. Flawless construction, tasty beyond measure – we loved this thing made of tobacco.

TNCC FINAL SCORE: 91

THE CIGAR #2 – H-TOWN NEANDERTHAL OM LANCERO

Size: 7 x 38 (lancero)
Wrapper: San Andrés Mexico
Binder: Connecticut Broadleaf
Filler: Dominican Republic, Nicaragua, & USA (Pennsylvania)
Price: $10.95

   

   

   

Much less peppery spice on the initial toasting of the foot, it’s there but it’s subtle, and there’s also a mineral heavy earth component that’s joined by some creaminess. That’s a first for us in the Neanderthal line. This sucker has cream! Yak Boy and Tut also picked up on a dried raisin-like fruitiness but curiously it was lacking sweetness, and I know just by typing that descriptive RoMa Craft’s Skip Martin will poke fun at us because he’s a tobacco bully (a tobaccully?) but I just can’t muster the energy to give a shit anymore.

   

   

   

We admittedly should have probably smoked this milder, more nuanced variation of the Neanderthal first before the hard-hitting Genetic Deformity but if ifs and buts were candy and nuts we’d all have a merry Christmas. The H-Town Lancero is a refined, elegant cigar and you’d never know that this dialed-down beauty was a Neanderthal if you smoked it without a band on it. Again, an old friend with a new twist and we all loved it.

TNCC FINAL SCORE: 91

THE BEER – HOP STOOPID by LAGUNITAS BREWING COMPANY

The Hop Stoopid IPA pours beautifully. The claim of 102 IBUs seemed high to us, the beer does have a hoppy bite for sure but 102? C’mon man… I searched for a beer to pair with tonight’s cigars that had the balls to stand up to them strength-wise while not getting in the way flavor-wise and on that front this beer was a success.

   

   

   

   

It’s tasty, it is hoppy, but it lacks any complexity whatsoever and sometimes that’s okay. BUT, let me be clear on this, we enjoyed it!

THE FILM – THE PACKAGE (2018)

aka the “Eggplant emoji” movie

Every time this film goes over the top and you’re sure it’s bound to peter out from there, it just HAS to plateau you tell yourself, The Package finds a way to outdo itself and reach a new level of welcome absurdity. It’s one hysterical, laugh out loud sequence after another… Simply put, folks, The Package is hilarious and quite possibly the best film to balance dialogue-based humor with physical/prop comedy since There’s Something About Mary.

The young ensemble cast is terrific and talented beyond their years, eclipsing even the memorable characters of the last highly successful raunchy teenage comedy American Pie. Yep, this film is that damn good and we all loved it. But don’t take my word for it, watch or listen to the show below and join in the fun!

THE NUB

Three For Three! We nailed tonight’s pairing and all three subjects could have just as easily stood on their own. What a night. And I think by clicking the links below you’re going to enjoy it just as much as we did. If not, well you just may be a lifeless severed penis and not even know it.

Sayonara motherfuckers!!!

Please leave us comments on the YouTube episode page, provide us with a review on iTunes, or be a real stud and do both! All these seemingly small gestures would be greatly appreciated as they let us know exactly what you’re thinking about this sweat soaked tidal wave of hardbodied insanity we like to call The Tuesday Night Cigar Club.

Below is tonight’s full episode for both your viewing and listening pleasure. Thank you for checking out The Tuesday Night Cigar Club and we’ll see you next time when we review another cigar, adult beverage, and film. May the wings of liberty never lose a feather…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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TNCC Podcast

Brother of the Leaf, Filmmaker, Prophet, former Mr. South Dakota 1996. I was a bouncer on the child beauty pageant circuit until one too many juice boxes went missing and somebody had to take the fall. I was set up. Ok, I was thirsty. All that hairspray in the air dries out your throat like a motherfu... I apologize to no man. Now I host the Tuesday Night Cigar Club podcast.

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